Unrequited First Love

“The Bitternes of Unrequited First Love”

(adapted from the story of a girl whose heart is unstable now)

In the corner of the most romantic place in my school, I found my worth little everlasting thing in the world. In a quiet beautiful park with many trees and benches underneath, I got the most impressive experience throughout my life. When the wind smelt slow and cool when it blew, something thrilling had happened to me clumsily, but it was true. No one could never guess what had exactly done to my heart just because of him. It was about 5 years ago, when I was younger , when I was in Senior High School.

I loved him at first sight when he was accidentally stood before me and smiled at me in that park. It was my second special place in this school after my room. Deg! I felt my heart stopped beating for a second. My cheek was blushing without clear reason. It brought my heart to heaven. Then I saw so many butterflies in him, love sign through his eyes that only I who could see and define it. Who was he? And how could he find me here, under the third tree from the left, the biggest one, the best one to hide.

However, those were not my questions when the first time I saw his face, but why could not I release the gaze of him at all. I thought it was my fate to meet him here. The place where I used to be alone and muse. God sent him to accompany me in the following days. I didn’t know how could it be. He may be very ordinary person for others, I guessed, but for me he was so different, I sensed. He stole my heart with just one look, and it just took a minute. I just fell in love at the first time I saw his face. That was really first love at first sight.

I could not erase his shadow from my eyes. His cool face fascinated me for a while. Till I felt so breathless at the moment. Oh my God, I was asking by myself. What it was? What had happened to me? Was it something which people call by love? I did not understand and I did not want to understand. I just wanted this feeling alive eternally. I did not find out who he was, in what grade he was or in what class he was. I concluded that whoever he was, if he was truly created for me, then we would easily find the way to meet again and unite.

A year ran hardly to me without seeing him again at least for the second time. Nevertheless, in a year I always came early to the school. I waited for another coincidental moment with him, but it never happened. I started being wonder whether I had been dreaming of prince, delusion prince whom I met last year in my secret nest that was also an imagination or it was really him. I became surrender being silent. I wanted to look for him. However, I did not know how to do, how to start finding him while I had not been sure with everything about him and his reality.

Moreover, I had difficulties of social lives. I used to think that I was better alone, no friends or companies. I never engaged with others’ conversation. I lived in my own life, and just because of him, should I change myself? I was really confused. On the following day, I tried to be normal girl in my school. I pretended to be more friendly with others and started sharing my nicest smile after long time ago I never did it. Love was earnestly more mysterious than its mystery. The evidence that it brought me to another world, love had been seriously shaking my life.

This is the first day of the new academic year in my school. I was in mathematics and natural science class. I felt that I started living in the real life by thinking of someone other than myself. 5 minutes after the bell rang, a good looking teacher got into my class, and the one that really startled me was a boy behind him. Oh my God, was this real? He was him. He was truly exist and real. He looked at me and smiled again for me. Without command, my heart was beating louder, and my blood was flowing so profusely after seeing him, in the second time. I just let it crash. My feeling inside. For once in my life, I didn’t have to tried to be happy, cause when I saw him it just happened. He made me so alive and he gave the best for me, love and fantasy.

Yet, who knows? The story was not end as happy as my dream. A day after he got me flowery cause his gaze and his smile to me, I saw him again, of course, because we were in same class, but he was not alone. There was a girl walked beside him came in the class together. They looked so intimately. Before I escaped from this  moment, he had successfully weakened my energy by his words “I am going to wash my hand, dear” to that girl, then he went out. Did you know what? The girl was a girl who sat behind me. Besides his love, so his smile, his gaze, were those all not for me too? What was this? Who was he? Why did he do this to me? why did he come to my life? How could he easily change everything about me then break my heart? we even never got a real conversation. What a miserable waiting! How purblind I am. No sobs, no speaking, my tears just fell down. I was numb.